In one of my classes, a student was talking about how since she read all the Harry Potter Books, her mother let her go to a midnight showing of the movie. Having been to one myself, I was curious how she thought it was. It didn't matter which movie, nor did it matter if she enjoyed it. I didn't like any of them, and I didn't even bother reading the books. I was more interested in the people she saw there. She said, "um. That is the last midnight showing I'll ever go to. Those people are weirdos." I smiled and replied (which I will probably never have the ability to say ever again) "I agree. I'm too normal for that." My students looked at me in disbelief as they couldn't believe I would ever say such a bold faced lie to their faces. But man, it felt good to say.

Updates, Updates

Brian and I got married on June 20, 2009. It was the best day of my life. So far, being married has been such a blessing. I have to admit, for the most part, very little has changed. Even on our wedding day, it just felt like I had the opportunity to spend time with Brian. I love that he doesn't have to leave at the end of the night, and I love that I wake up next to him. The first few moments of my day are complete and utter gratitude and joy...when I roll over and see him sleeping there. I love being his wife. Although, I am trying to learn how to do it well. I will attempt to update my blog as often as I can, with what I'm learning...but sometimes time flies too quickly and I can hardly keep up. But, I will try. For right now, I can tell you that I learned today, that being a stay at home wife, is not my calling. Thank God He wanted me to be a teacher...because today, I was making popcorn on the stove, and I caught the stove on fire. I'm learning lessons, all around :)

Blind Faith

The other day, I was in the grocery store and I saw a little girl holding her daddy's hand. I smiled at them, because I always think it's cute when I see daddys being good daddys. Then, I noticed that the little girl was walking with her eyes closed, with absolutley no hesitation. She just trusted that her daddy would lead her in the right direction.

In that moment, I prayed that I would trust my Father that much.

I was reminded recently of a story that I've been thinking about constantly.

The Israelites out-fought the Amalekites as long as Moses held up his arms, but they started losing whenever he had to lower them. Finally, Moses was so tired that Aaron and Hur got a rock for him to sit on. Then they stood beside him and supported his arms in the same position until sunset. That's how Joshua defeated the Amalekites. (Exodus 17:8-16)

I have so many people in my life who hold up my arms for me when I can't hold them up myself. Thank you...some of you are my strongest supports.

Last week I moved out of Greenfield. I moved in with a family who has loved me unconditionally from the moment I met them. They are cousins of Brians...and they are the most phenomenal people I've ever met. The day after I moved in, Pam, the mom of the family, found out she was diagnosed with breast cancer. It's been painful, but this family takes every setback in stride. As Pam walked in the door that day, I went right up to her and gave her a hug. The first thing she said was, "God must be ready to use this to witness to others."

Have you ever heard words from the mouth of a newly-diagnosed cancer patient? Humbling.

We are learning a lot in this house. God surely is moving. He's teaching us that he is the owner of our bodies, that trusting in God's timing is key, that even servants need to be served.

What a Life!

I have this bedside table that I love. It's so old. The paint is chipping off, and when you pull out the drawers, the entire front panel falls off. As I was packing up my apartment, Brian said I should throw it out because it really is old and a piece of junk. He said he'd buy me a new one...but I just love the one I have. So, I moved it to Shelbyville, and Brian begrudgingly put it in his room.

Last night when I got there I noticed a few things: Brian had already cooked dinner (so I didn't have to--YAY!!), he cooked dessert, and the bedside table was gone.

My first thought was, "He would not even throw that out without talking to me about it, would he? Oh gosh. He did, that's why he's cooking me dinner so he can tell me that he threw it out. He thinks dinner would make that all right?" I immediately jumped to conclusions, and I really had no reason to. Brian has never done anything like that before. So finally, he said, "well, I wanted it to be a surprise..."

And he pulled out the night stand from the closet...sanded and glued and fixed and everything. He was refinishing it for me. What a wonderful, servant-hearted man. I share stories like that with my juvi girls...and it brings them such hope...and raises their expectations for what they truly deserve. I love that I get to brag about him...and share what an example he is of being a Godly, genuinely good man.

What a life!

Wait for the good one

One of the continual and biggest blessings in my life is volunteering at Juvi. I go up there every Thursday night for about two hours and spend time with all the girls in the facility. Usually we have about 15...sometimes way more, sometimes less. Either way, I walk out of that building with such a peace in my heart because I'm doing what I'm called to do: love the kids that others find unlovable.

Occasionally, girls group will take a turn when I don't expect it. Most of the time it's good. Tonight was one of those nights.

We were going to make baby blankets for police officers to give to children who need the comfort at the scene of an incident. But all the girls could even begin to focus on was boys. Always boys. I have a staff member that is with me every week...and we team up. She'll say something like, "I want you girls to listen to Heather tell you about the guy in her life." And all the girls listen. She'll ask questions she already knows the answers to--just to hear me share my story--or share my faith.

Tonight she said, "since you won't stop talking about boys, I want to hear about Heather's guy. Heather, what makes your relationship different with Brian?"

And I shared it all. I told them that I used to think I was one of those girls who would never deserve that guy that treats her like a princess. Then, I met Brian. From the beginning, we set boundaries that we would both stick to until our wedding day--no matter who either of us married. I shared how amazing it is to be able to hold on to my purity, so I will be able to give that to my husband. I told them how it is so amazing to finally meet someone who deserves my whole heart...and how amazing it is to be able to give that to him...not just the pieces left over. They said, "yeah, but I don't think that there are any more good guys left. Even if they are, they are not always good..."

I told them to wait. Wait for the good ones. The bad ones are everywhere you turn. There are good guys...you just have to be patient. Then one girl started crying. She said she doesn't deserve a guy that would treat her well. We talked about forgiveness. Before she left, I asked if she needed a hug. She said she doesn't do hugs. This beautiful girl has these walls built up around her heart. I will wait patiently as they come down, because I believe in a God who tore down mine.

Friday night, at 9:00, I'm at a choir concert at school. I'm sitting there watching the kids, thinking to myself...I absolutley love the kids up on that stage. Then I realized, how many people stay at work until 9 pm on Friday...and still can honestly say they love what they do? I am at a stage in my life that I wouldn't change anything. I wouldn't go back in time, and I wouldn't fast forward time. My life will never be like this...ever again. And I'm enjoying every single second.

Handle with Care

In the book that I am reading, it mentions divorce. It says, "For some reason, it always seemed natural to happen when their kids were in fourth grade...I wondered what is was about fourth grade that was so stressful on a marriage, or maybe it was just hitting that ten-to-fifteen year mark...Part of what I loved about being married to Sean was the ease of it--letting him see me when my hair was Medusa-wild in the mornings and kiss me when my teeth weren't brushed yet, knowing which television show to click on when we sat down with a mutual sigh on the couch, instinctively recognizing which drawer housed his underwear or T-shirts or jeans. So much of marriage was implicit and nonverbal. Had I gotten so complacent that I'd forgotten to communicate?"

It's so easy to get to the point in a relationship that two people who live together and both wear rings on their left ring finger, become simply that: roommates. I wonder how a couple "survives marriage." A co-worker recently told me the answer is simple. You choose to survive. I will always choose Brian. I will always choose his heart. Even over my own. Not because I have to...or because I feel obligated to...but honestly, in my heart, because I want to. The next part is not to never get too complacent.

If a principal wants us to do a character development unit on Purity, I think it's sad that in our society, teachers are scared to do it. I find it even more sad that some teachers refuse to do it.

What a blessing for me, that I work for a man who won't take no for an answer.

"A dutiful mother is someone who follows every step her child takes. A good mother is someone whose child wants to follow her."

Happy Mother's Day to all the women in my life that I want to follow.

Tips on having a successful marriage--from 6th Graders.

Once in a while, I have my students do "Free Writes" where they can write about anything on their mind. Sometimes, I give them prompts so if they don't have any ideas, they can answer my questions. In light of the upcoming wedding, suggested that they give me suggestions on "how to be married" Several (actually most) of my students asked if they could give Mr. Toney advice. I've bolded some of my personal favorites. I hope you enjoy these as much as I:

Advice to me:

-Don't take the TV away from Mr. Toney.
-Be happy at all times. Don't be sad like the grumpy like those old women in kid stories...oh, one more thing, you inspire me.
-If a man is playing XBOX 360 GET OUT OF HIS WAY.
-Never cheat on Mr. Toney, and if he cheats, torture him to death.
-Get Mr. Toney a leash, don't let him out of your sight.
-Can you ask Mr. Toney if I can be in the wedding? (I've never been in a wedding!! PLEASE!!)
-Never yell at him for watching sports.
-Give him lots of food.
-Don't have kids unless you talk about it (they whine)
-If Mr. Toney likes to read, have reading time.
-Never buy a hampster.
-Don't let your cat come to the wedding.
-Don't act too dingy.
-Always have dinner ready.
-Don't forget the cake.
-Say stuff simply and easy to understand.

Advice to Mr. Toney:

-You should make Ms. Laughlin coffee in the morning
-If she gets a haircut, try to notice.
-Don't be afraid to ask for directions.
-No selective hearing, please.
-You should do some chores around the house
-Never take away her book.
-Be nice to Ms. Laughlin
-You should take Ms. Laughlin to a fancy dinner every once in a while.
-You should bring Ms. Laughlin lunch to school
-For her birthday, don't take her to a fast food restaurant.
-Do the dishes.
-You should take Ms. Laughlin to work sometimes.
-You should always talk right around Ms. Laughlin
-Don't talk back to her when she asks you to do something.
-Get Ms. Laughlin whatever she wants
-Be glad to her.
-Do what she says.
-Get her a pretty wedding ring.
-Listen to her when she is talking...trust me.
-Respect her
-Take care of her when she is sick-fix her soup, let her sit around all day.
-When you two are watching TV, let her pick the channel
-When she is sick, you should take care of her and get her whatever she wants.
-You should make breakfast for her.
-You should never try to make Ms. Laughlin mad, because you don't want to mess with Ms. Laughlin.
-Don't miss any important dates, like her birthday.
-Don't let her lift a finger.
-Clean up after yourself.
-Help around the house without being asked.
-Don't keep secrets.
-Don't use slang. MAKE SURE TO USE PROPER GRAMMER.
-Never say ain't.
-Don't be mean.
-Be there when she is sad, angry, excited, full of joy, or even cranky.
-Tell her she is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
-Be her knight in shining armor.
-Be a gentleman at all times.
-Don't let her shop too much.
-Don't let her spend money of lots of clothes, cuz she has a bunch.
-Don't let her talk about school all the time.
-Give her flowers and chocolate (every girl loves those)
-Buy her books, she likes to read.

Tips to having a successful marriage from my 6th grade class.

Make a difference every day.

Last week, I pulled a piece of tape off my classroom door, and instead of throwing it out, I handed it to one of my students who was sitting in the front row. I said to her, "Here you go, it's a gift."

She looked at me and said, "Thank you. I still have the last gift you gave me. I'll put this piece of tape with the other."

Not remembering what she was talking about, I said, "what gift?"

She replied, "At the beginning of the year, you were collecting papers, and a scrap fell off of one of them. You picked it up, handed it to me, and said that I could keep it as a gift. It's on my bulletin board at home. I look at it every night."

I don't have any recollection of that "gift" but what I will never forget is how thankful she was, and how one simple comment, or act of kindness can be so valued and treasured. It didn't matter that both things I gave her should have belonged in the trash can. What matters is that she felt important and wanted to keep that as a memory of how she felt.

I guess the essential question is: What can we intentionally do today, to create a positive memory for someone?

me vs. me

Laura posted pictures from my bridal shower and bachelorette party. I looked at them several times because I was so surprised at what I saw. I feel like we have such twisted views of ourselves. Like we think we look one way, when really, we look totally different. I honestly didn't recognize myself in those pictures. It's not that I'm insecure or self-concious. I was comfortable with myself 35 pounds heavier...but I just don't recognize myself in the pictures--because that's not who I see.

I love working out, love running, love eating healthy, love the results. I just want to continue going strong and loving every breath of air that I take.

Soul Mate

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it" (Eat, Pray, Love p. 149).

Over the past year, I've lost someone that I'd consider my soul mate. They are not lost in the sense that they are gone--but rather, lost in the sense that I see them often, and yet, we've become so detached from each others lives. In fact, so detached that we can't even connect on the deep stuff...the deep stuff that used to fill our every conversation. It's been painful. Deeply painful. Is it easier to lose someone who dies? or someone who is still alive? I never thought to "thank God for it" because I've been too busy praying for a return.

But, because of the loss of a soul mate, I believe another has come in... and I do "thank God for" that. But I still miss the first like you wouldn't even believe.

Grocery Store Moms

I have learned a lot about parenting--thanks to teaching and going to Walmart. From teaching, I learned that after you meet the parents--everything makes sense. If you absolutely love a child, you find (9 times out of 10) that the parents are phenomenal people. If a child has temper problems, cusses, or other similar bad habits...they learned them from their parents.

Then I go to Walmart, and learn even more about parenting. In one aisle, you have the child who is throwing a temper tantrum and the average shoppers are staring at that situation wondering if the child's scream is louder than the parent's yell. But then, I turned the aisle, and saw the most precious thing. A mom was pushing her son (who was sitting in the child's seat in the cart) and was leaning over so she was eye-level with her son. They were talking quietly, and then the mother took both hands and cupped them around her son's face and kissed his forehead. It was the most tender, loving action...especially compared to what I just had seen.

Parenting: dictatorship or an exercise of grace?