What a Life!

I have this bedside table that I love. It's so old. The paint is chipping off, and when you pull out the drawers, the entire front panel falls off. As I was packing up my apartment, Brian said I should throw it out because it really is old and a piece of junk. He said he'd buy me a new one...but I just love the one I have. So, I moved it to Shelbyville, and Brian begrudgingly put it in his room.

Last night when I got there I noticed a few things: Brian had already cooked dinner (so I didn't have to--YAY!!), he cooked dessert, and the bedside table was gone.

My first thought was, "He would not even throw that out without talking to me about it, would he? Oh gosh. He did, that's why he's cooking me dinner so he can tell me that he threw it out. He thinks dinner would make that all right?" I immediately jumped to conclusions, and I really had no reason to. Brian has never done anything like that before. So finally, he said, "well, I wanted it to be a surprise..."

And he pulled out the night stand from the closet...sanded and glued and fixed and everything. He was refinishing it for me. What a wonderful, servant-hearted man. I share stories like that with my juvi girls...and it brings them such hope...and raises their expectations for what they truly deserve. I love that I get to brag about him...and share what an example he is of being a Godly, genuinely good man.

What a life!

Wait for the good one

One of the continual and biggest blessings in my life is volunteering at Juvi. I go up there every Thursday night for about two hours and spend time with all the girls in the facility. Usually we have about 15...sometimes way more, sometimes less. Either way, I walk out of that building with such a peace in my heart because I'm doing what I'm called to do: love the kids that others find unlovable.

Occasionally, girls group will take a turn when I don't expect it. Most of the time it's good. Tonight was one of those nights.

We were going to make baby blankets for police officers to give to children who need the comfort at the scene of an incident. But all the girls could even begin to focus on was boys. Always boys. I have a staff member that is with me every week...and we team up. She'll say something like, "I want you girls to listen to Heather tell you about the guy in her life." And all the girls listen. She'll ask questions she already knows the answers to--just to hear me share my story--or share my faith.

Tonight she said, "since you won't stop talking about boys, I want to hear about Heather's guy. Heather, what makes your relationship different with Brian?"

And I shared it all. I told them that I used to think I was one of those girls who would never deserve that guy that treats her like a princess. Then, I met Brian. From the beginning, we set boundaries that we would both stick to until our wedding day--no matter who either of us married. I shared how amazing it is to be able to hold on to my purity, so I will be able to give that to my husband. I told them how it is so amazing to finally meet someone who deserves my whole heart...and how amazing it is to be able to give that to him...not just the pieces left over. They said, "yeah, but I don't think that there are any more good guys left. Even if they are, they are not always good..."

I told them to wait. Wait for the good ones. The bad ones are everywhere you turn. There are good guys...you just have to be patient. Then one girl started crying. She said she doesn't deserve a guy that would treat her well. We talked about forgiveness. Before she left, I asked if she needed a hug. She said she doesn't do hugs. This beautiful girl has these walls built up around her heart. I will wait patiently as they come down, because I believe in a God who tore down mine.

Friday night, at 9:00, I'm at a choir concert at school. I'm sitting there watching the kids, thinking to myself...I absolutley love the kids up on that stage. Then I realized, how many people stay at work until 9 pm on Friday...and still can honestly say they love what they do? I am at a stage in my life that I wouldn't change anything. I wouldn't go back in time, and I wouldn't fast forward time. My life will never be like this...ever again. And I'm enjoying every single second.

Handle with Care

In the book that I am reading, it mentions divorce. It says, "For some reason, it always seemed natural to happen when their kids were in fourth grade...I wondered what is was about fourth grade that was so stressful on a marriage, or maybe it was just hitting that ten-to-fifteen year mark...Part of what I loved about being married to Sean was the ease of it--letting him see me when my hair was Medusa-wild in the mornings and kiss me when my teeth weren't brushed yet, knowing which television show to click on when we sat down with a mutual sigh on the couch, instinctively recognizing which drawer housed his underwear or T-shirts or jeans. So much of marriage was implicit and nonverbal. Had I gotten so complacent that I'd forgotten to communicate?"

It's so easy to get to the point in a relationship that two people who live together and both wear rings on their left ring finger, become simply that: roommates. I wonder how a couple "survives marriage." A co-worker recently told me the answer is simple. You choose to survive. I will always choose Brian. I will always choose his heart. Even over my own. Not because I have to...or because I feel obligated to...but honestly, in my heart, because I want to. The next part is not to never get too complacent.

If a principal wants us to do a character development unit on Purity, I think it's sad that in our society, teachers are scared to do it. I find it even more sad that some teachers refuse to do it.

What a blessing for me, that I work for a man who won't take no for an answer.

"A dutiful mother is someone who follows every step her child takes. A good mother is someone whose child wants to follow her."

Happy Mother's Day to all the women in my life that I want to follow.

Tips on having a successful marriage--from 6th Graders.

Once in a while, I have my students do "Free Writes" where they can write about anything on their mind. Sometimes, I give them prompts so if they don't have any ideas, they can answer my questions. In light of the upcoming wedding, suggested that they give me suggestions on "how to be married" Several (actually most) of my students asked if they could give Mr. Toney advice. I've bolded some of my personal favorites. I hope you enjoy these as much as I:

Advice to me:

-Don't take the TV away from Mr. Toney.
-Be happy at all times. Don't be sad like the grumpy like those old women in kid stories...oh, one more thing, you inspire me.
-If a man is playing XBOX 360 GET OUT OF HIS WAY.
-Never cheat on Mr. Toney, and if he cheats, torture him to death.
-Get Mr. Toney a leash, don't let him out of your sight.
-Can you ask Mr. Toney if I can be in the wedding? (I've never been in a wedding!! PLEASE!!)
-Never yell at him for watching sports.
-Give him lots of food.
-Don't have kids unless you talk about it (they whine)
-If Mr. Toney likes to read, have reading time.
-Never buy a hampster.
-Don't let your cat come to the wedding.
-Don't act too dingy.
-Always have dinner ready.
-Don't forget the cake.
-Say stuff simply and easy to understand.

Advice to Mr. Toney:

-You should make Ms. Laughlin coffee in the morning
-If she gets a haircut, try to notice.
-Don't be afraid to ask for directions.
-No selective hearing, please.
-You should do some chores around the house
-Never take away her book.
-Be nice to Ms. Laughlin
-You should take Ms. Laughlin to a fancy dinner every once in a while.
-You should bring Ms. Laughlin lunch to school
-For her birthday, don't take her to a fast food restaurant.
-Do the dishes.
-You should take Ms. Laughlin to work sometimes.
-You should always talk right around Ms. Laughlin
-Don't talk back to her when she asks you to do something.
-Get Ms. Laughlin whatever she wants
-Be glad to her.
-Do what she says.
-Get her a pretty wedding ring.
-Listen to her when she is talking...trust me.
-Respect her
-Take care of her when she is sick-fix her soup, let her sit around all day.
-When you two are watching TV, let her pick the channel
-When she is sick, you should take care of her and get her whatever she wants.
-You should make breakfast for her.
-You should never try to make Ms. Laughlin mad, because you don't want to mess with Ms. Laughlin.
-Don't miss any important dates, like her birthday.
-Don't let her lift a finger.
-Clean up after yourself.
-Help around the house without being asked.
-Don't keep secrets.
-Don't use slang. MAKE SURE TO USE PROPER GRAMMER.
-Never say ain't.
-Don't be mean.
-Be there when she is sad, angry, excited, full of joy, or even cranky.
-Tell her she is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
-Be her knight in shining armor.
-Be a gentleman at all times.
-Don't let her shop too much.
-Don't let her spend money of lots of clothes, cuz she has a bunch.
-Don't let her talk about school all the time.
-Give her flowers and chocolate (every girl loves those)
-Buy her books, she likes to read.

Tips to having a successful marriage from my 6th grade class.

Make a difference every day.

Last week, I pulled a piece of tape off my classroom door, and instead of throwing it out, I handed it to one of my students who was sitting in the front row. I said to her, "Here you go, it's a gift."

She looked at me and said, "Thank you. I still have the last gift you gave me. I'll put this piece of tape with the other."

Not remembering what she was talking about, I said, "what gift?"

She replied, "At the beginning of the year, you were collecting papers, and a scrap fell off of one of them. You picked it up, handed it to me, and said that I could keep it as a gift. It's on my bulletin board at home. I look at it every night."

I don't have any recollection of that "gift" but what I will never forget is how thankful she was, and how one simple comment, or act of kindness can be so valued and treasured. It didn't matter that both things I gave her should have belonged in the trash can. What matters is that she felt important and wanted to keep that as a memory of how she felt.

I guess the essential question is: What can we intentionally do today, to create a positive memory for someone?

me vs. me

Laura posted pictures from my bridal shower and bachelorette party. I looked at them several times because I was so surprised at what I saw. I feel like we have such twisted views of ourselves. Like we think we look one way, when really, we look totally different. I honestly didn't recognize myself in those pictures. It's not that I'm insecure or self-concious. I was comfortable with myself 35 pounds heavier...but I just don't recognize myself in the pictures--because that's not who I see.

I love working out, love running, love eating healthy, love the results. I just want to continue going strong and loving every breath of air that I take.