If a principal wants us to do a character development unit on Purity, I think it's sad that in our society, teachers are scared to do it. I find it even more sad that some teachers refuse to do it.

What a blessing for me, that I work for a man who won't take no for an answer.

"A dutiful mother is someone who follows every step her child takes. A good mother is someone whose child wants to follow her."

Happy Mother's Day to all the women in my life that I want to follow.

Tips on having a successful marriage--from 6th Graders.

Once in a while, I have my students do "Free Writes" where they can write about anything on their mind. Sometimes, I give them prompts so if they don't have any ideas, they can answer my questions. In light of the upcoming wedding, suggested that they give me suggestions on "how to be married" Several (actually most) of my students asked if they could give Mr. Toney advice. I've bolded some of my personal favorites. I hope you enjoy these as much as I:

Advice to me:

-Don't take the TV away from Mr. Toney.
-Be happy at all times. Don't be sad like the grumpy like those old women in kid stories...oh, one more thing, you inspire me.
-If a man is playing XBOX 360 GET OUT OF HIS WAY.
-Never cheat on Mr. Toney, and if he cheats, torture him to death.
-Get Mr. Toney a leash, don't let him out of your sight.
-Can you ask Mr. Toney if I can be in the wedding? (I've never been in a wedding!! PLEASE!!)
-Never yell at him for watching sports.
-Give him lots of food.
-Don't have kids unless you talk about it (they whine)
-If Mr. Toney likes to read, have reading time.
-Never buy a hampster.
-Don't let your cat come to the wedding.
-Don't act too dingy.
-Always have dinner ready.
-Don't forget the cake.
-Say stuff simply and easy to understand.

Advice to Mr. Toney:

-You should make Ms. Laughlin coffee in the morning
-If she gets a haircut, try to notice.
-Don't be afraid to ask for directions.
-No selective hearing, please.
-You should do some chores around the house
-Never take away her book.
-Be nice to Ms. Laughlin
-You should take Ms. Laughlin to a fancy dinner every once in a while.
-You should bring Ms. Laughlin lunch to school
-For her birthday, don't take her to a fast food restaurant.
-Do the dishes.
-You should take Ms. Laughlin to work sometimes.
-You should always talk right around Ms. Laughlin
-Don't talk back to her when she asks you to do something.
-Get Ms. Laughlin whatever she wants
-Be glad to her.
-Do what she says.
-Get her a pretty wedding ring.
-Listen to her when she is talking...trust me.
-Respect her
-Take care of her when she is sick-fix her soup, let her sit around all day.
-When you two are watching TV, let her pick the channel
-When she is sick, you should take care of her and get her whatever she wants.
-You should make breakfast for her.
-You should never try to make Ms. Laughlin mad, because you don't want to mess with Ms. Laughlin.
-Don't miss any important dates, like her birthday.
-Don't let her lift a finger.
-Clean up after yourself.
-Help around the house without being asked.
-Don't keep secrets.
-Don't use slang. MAKE SURE TO USE PROPER GRAMMER.
-Never say ain't.
-Don't be mean.
-Be there when she is sad, angry, excited, full of joy, or even cranky.
-Tell her she is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
-Be her knight in shining armor.
-Be a gentleman at all times.
-Don't let her shop too much.
-Don't let her spend money of lots of clothes, cuz she has a bunch.
-Don't let her talk about school all the time.
-Give her flowers and chocolate (every girl loves those)
-Buy her books, she likes to read.

Tips to having a successful marriage from my 6th grade class.

Make a difference every day.

Last week, I pulled a piece of tape off my classroom door, and instead of throwing it out, I handed it to one of my students who was sitting in the front row. I said to her, "Here you go, it's a gift."

She looked at me and said, "Thank you. I still have the last gift you gave me. I'll put this piece of tape with the other."

Not remembering what she was talking about, I said, "what gift?"

She replied, "At the beginning of the year, you were collecting papers, and a scrap fell off of one of them. You picked it up, handed it to me, and said that I could keep it as a gift. It's on my bulletin board at home. I look at it every night."

I don't have any recollection of that "gift" but what I will never forget is how thankful she was, and how one simple comment, or act of kindness can be so valued and treasured. It didn't matter that both things I gave her should have belonged in the trash can. What matters is that she felt important and wanted to keep that as a memory of how she felt.

I guess the essential question is: What can we intentionally do today, to create a positive memory for someone?

me vs. me

Laura posted pictures from my bridal shower and bachelorette party. I looked at them several times because I was so surprised at what I saw. I feel like we have such twisted views of ourselves. Like we think we look one way, when really, we look totally different. I honestly didn't recognize myself in those pictures. It's not that I'm insecure or self-concious. I was comfortable with myself 35 pounds heavier...but I just don't recognize myself in the pictures--because that's not who I see.

I love working out, love running, love eating healthy, love the results. I just want to continue going strong and loving every breath of air that I take.

Soul Mate

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it" (Eat, Pray, Love p. 149).

Over the past year, I've lost someone that I'd consider my soul mate. They are not lost in the sense that they are gone--but rather, lost in the sense that I see them often, and yet, we've become so detached from each others lives. In fact, so detached that we can't even connect on the deep stuff...the deep stuff that used to fill our every conversation. It's been painful. Deeply painful. Is it easier to lose someone who dies? or someone who is still alive? I never thought to "thank God for it" because I've been too busy praying for a return.

But, because of the loss of a soul mate, I believe another has come in... and I do "thank God for" that. But I still miss the first like you wouldn't even believe.

Grocery Store Moms

I have learned a lot about parenting--thanks to teaching and going to Walmart. From teaching, I learned that after you meet the parents--everything makes sense. If you absolutely love a child, you find (9 times out of 10) that the parents are phenomenal people. If a child has temper problems, cusses, or other similar bad habits...they learned them from their parents.

Then I go to Walmart, and learn even more about parenting. In one aisle, you have the child who is throwing a temper tantrum and the average shoppers are staring at that situation wondering if the child's scream is louder than the parent's yell. But then, I turned the aisle, and saw the most precious thing. A mom was pushing her son (who was sitting in the child's seat in the cart) and was leaning over so she was eye-level with her son. They were talking quietly, and then the mother took both hands and cupped them around her son's face and kissed his forehead. It was the most tender, loving action...especially compared to what I just had seen.

Parenting: dictatorship or an exercise of grace?