"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it" (Eat, Pray, Love p. 149).
Over the past year, I've lost someone that I'd consider my soul mate. They are not lost in the sense that they are gone--but rather, lost in the sense that I see them often, and yet, we've become so detached from each others lives. In fact, so detached that we can't even connect on the deep stuff...the deep stuff that used to fill our every conversation. It's been painful. Deeply painful. Is it easier to lose someone who dies? or someone who is still alive? I never thought to "thank God for it" because I've been too busy praying for a return.
But, because of the loss of a soul mate, I believe another has come in... and I do "thank God for" that. But I still miss the first like you wouldn't even believe.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Grocery Store Moms
I have learned a lot about parenting--thanks to teaching and going to Walmart. From teaching, I learned that after you meet the parents--everything makes sense. If you absolutely love a child, you find (9 times out of 10) that the parents are phenomenal people. If a child has temper problems, cusses, or other similar bad habits...they learned them from their parents.
Then I go to Walmart, and learn even more about parenting. In one aisle, you have the child who is throwing a temper tantrum and the average shoppers are staring at that situation wondering if the child's scream is louder than the parent's yell. But then, I turned the aisle, and saw the most precious thing. A mom was pushing her son (who was sitting in the child's seat in the cart) and was leaning over so she was eye-level with her son. They were talking quietly, and then the mother took both hands and cupped them around her son's face and kissed his forehead. It was the most tender, loving action...especially compared to what I just had seen.
Parenting: dictatorship or an exercise of grace?
Then I go to Walmart, and learn even more about parenting. In one aisle, you have the child who is throwing a temper tantrum and the average shoppers are staring at that situation wondering if the child's scream is louder than the parent's yell. But then, I turned the aisle, and saw the most precious thing. A mom was pushing her son (who was sitting in the child's seat in the cart) and was leaning over so she was eye-level with her son. They were talking quietly, and then the mother took both hands and cupped them around her son's face and kissed his forehead. It was the most tender, loving action...especially compared to what I just had seen.
Parenting: dictatorship or an exercise of grace?
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
A Diamond is Forever
I've gotten out of the routine of blogging. This weekend when I went camping, I realized that I missed it because it forces you to slow down and take a closer look at the life you lead.
Since my last post, I started a new year of teaching, went to Greece and fell head over heels in love with the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.
In June, I will become Mrs. Heather Toney. I still have moments when it all seems surreal. The rest of my moments feel like it is too good to be true. I am marrying the most incredible person I've ever met.
This weekend we went camping with my Indiana Family. The adults were sitting around the campfire after playing a dangerous round of Spoons. The kids felt left out that they were not included, so Brian got up, and began another round of Spoons with the kids. I looked over at him laughing and joking with the kids, and I thought...if only everyone could be this lucky.
One of the things that I love most about him, is his compassion for the people that mean the most to me. I overheard him talking to someone about his sisters and how much he cares for them...it threw me off guard because Brian is an only child. It took me a minute to realize he was talking about the little girls that I grew up with. It brought tears to my eyes to overhear him talking to someone about how protective he is of his sisters.
On Friday, I was teaching my sixth grade students about symbolism. I learned that a diamond symbolizes consistancy. I wear his diamond on my left ring finger, and I've never found this symbolism to be so true. Brian is the most consistant thing in my life. It would truly be an honor to spend the rest of my life loving and serving Brian with every fiber of my being.
As the next 9 months of my life will be busy and focused on lots of little details of our wedding, my goal is to make it a point to slow down and take a closer look at the things I am most thankful for.
Since my last post, I started a new year of teaching, went to Greece and fell head over heels in love with the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.
In June, I will become Mrs. Heather Toney. I still have moments when it all seems surreal. The rest of my moments feel like it is too good to be true. I am marrying the most incredible person I've ever met.
This weekend we went camping with my Indiana Family. The adults were sitting around the campfire after playing a dangerous round of Spoons. The kids felt left out that they were not included, so Brian got up, and began another round of Spoons with the kids. I looked over at him laughing and joking with the kids, and I thought...if only everyone could be this lucky.
One of the things that I love most about him, is his compassion for the people that mean the most to me. I overheard him talking to someone about his sisters and how much he cares for them...it threw me off guard because Brian is an only child. It took me a minute to realize he was talking about the little girls that I grew up with. It brought tears to my eyes to overhear him talking to someone about how protective he is of his sisters.
On Friday, I was teaching my sixth grade students about symbolism. I learned that a diamond symbolizes consistancy. I wear his diamond on my left ring finger, and I've never found this symbolism to be so true. Brian is the most consistant thing in my life. It would truly be an honor to spend the rest of my life loving and serving Brian with every fiber of my being.
As the next 9 months of my life will be busy and focused on lots of little details of our wedding, my goal is to make it a point to slow down and take a closer look at the things I am most thankful for.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
If we take a minute to look through God's eyes, would our priorities shift?
If we take a minute to look through God's eyes, would our priorities shift?
Last Sunday, after church, I decided that I wasn't going to do anything else except pack since I'm moving in a few weeks. So, once I got home I was ready to get to work. Nothing was going to take me away from my packing.
Until I checked my cell phone. I missed a call from Jessie, the girl I had custody of this year. I called her back and she asked if I could come pick her up--she needed to get out of the house and needed to talk. She ended up spending the day with me. She didn't want to tell me because she thought I'd be disappointed, but she is back in the same pit she was before she got up in Juvi. We talked for hours, until it was time for me to go to youth group. I was at youth group till it was time to get my lessons ready for the week. My full day of packing went down the tubes.
I was beating myself up because that was my last weekend at home until I have to move. So now I'll have to pack during the school week instead of using large chunks of weekend time. I thought to myself, "way to go--you got absolutely NOTHING done."
Then a 2 by 4 hit me. God looked at the day and probably saw the most productive day ever. I look at the day and saw what I could have done. God sees that spending a whole day investing time in the youth is time well spent.
Oh, the change of perspective is so welcomed in my life.
Last Sunday, after church, I decided that I wasn't going to do anything else except pack since I'm moving in a few weeks. So, once I got home I was ready to get to work. Nothing was going to take me away from my packing.
Until I checked my cell phone. I missed a call from Jessie, the girl I had custody of this year. I called her back and she asked if I could come pick her up--she needed to get out of the house and needed to talk. She ended up spending the day with me. She didn't want to tell me because she thought I'd be disappointed, but she is back in the same pit she was before she got up in Juvi. We talked for hours, until it was time for me to go to youth group. I was at youth group till it was time to get my lessons ready for the week. My full day of packing went down the tubes.
I was beating myself up because that was my last weekend at home until I have to move. So now I'll have to pack during the school week instead of using large chunks of weekend time. I thought to myself, "way to go--you got absolutely NOTHING done."
Then a 2 by 4 hit me. God looked at the day and probably saw the most productive day ever. I look at the day and saw what I could have done. God sees that spending a whole day investing time in the youth is time well spent.
Oh, the change of perspective is so welcomed in my life.
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